My Christian Answers

Has someone recently done or said something to hurt you? Maybe you went into work or came home and someone who you care about launched into you with a torrent of hurtful accusations and verbal barbs. Maybe you did something to bring on the attack or maybe you are completely innocent, either way the pain has been awakened deep down in you emotions perhaps even as deep as your soul. You can feel all over again as you read this, that icy grip that encloses itself around your throat, the tingles that flows through your body, the spiked beating of your heart, and the ensuing sweat that breaks out all over your body. This is emotional pain that can bring one to the brink of sanity. Has any of this been a part of your life recently? Perhaps in the distant past, regardless you probably have felt this pain, this friend that may come back to bestow his “loving” arms around you and squeeze you till your joy morphs into a thing that was never born. Call it what you will, this is hurtful and we have all at one time or another felt it. The question then becomes, what do you do or not do when this is the case in your life. Let’s deal with the fact that you were the one who was completely in the wrong and the other individual is angry and disappointed in you.

A. Breathe - this is important because breathing will help regulate your heart beat and the sensations that are coursing through your body. You will feel like doing one of two things, running or fighting. This is the fight/flight mechanism that God has given to you for your survival. It is employed throughout your system when your mind has reason to be afraid or angry, such as in a mugging or car accident. This mechanism can save lives but in some cases it can be detrimental to the individual who is employing it. Though you will want to one or the other, you will do NEITHER. You will Breathe.

B. Accept - this is what you will do, don’t fight back and don’t run away, accept that you are wrong. Let the feelings that will come with that decision course through your body, EMBRACE the sensations! Do nothing just embrace. Agree and Accept.

C. Look and Listen - do not avert your eyes, let you eyes do the talking. Let the other person vent, do the right thing - do not retaliate and do not run.

D. Answer - respond after a time, which you will have to decide depending on each situation it will be different, with a measured, calm response. “A soft answer turneth away wrath” is a proverb greatly used and completely true. Tell the truth for the truth will be your redemption.

E. Ask for Forgiveness - If you are truly in the wrong then you need to ask for forgiveness. Be honest and tell the person you were wrong and are in need of forgiveness. Time cannot be taken back. The water has already passed beneath the bridge, never to come back. All you can do is ask for forgiveness, this is the only right answer, this is truth and again truth will be your redemption.

If you will do these five steps when you are in the wrong then you will become right and a person in the right has nothing to fear and nothing to be angry about. You will be free for you have done right and the guilt will pass, the anger and fear will dissipate. You will be free and the decision to do right or wrong will fall on the person who has been wronged by you for they now have a decision, will they accept you and do their duty and forgive, or will they become a slave to the bitterness and anger. Now if you have been wronged and attacked without cause there is a whole different set of steps you must take. These will have to be saved for another time.

TO BE CONT.