My Christian Answers

There are two questions in every marriage. And I don’t mean why does my wife nag so much, or why is my husband so clueless. I am talking about the root problems that cause many if not all of those little problems. I read a post called “2 questions” very recently. It was describing two questions that people ask: “Can I do it?” and “Am I worth it?”. His article states that the question that drives a man to do just about anything is “Can I do it?”. The question that drives the woman is “Am I worth it?”. To go into the details of his article read it here. I will briefly summarize.

“Can I do it?”

Man’s obsession in life is what can I conquer or accomplish. We often pride ourselves in our working ability, sporting ability, and whatever else we might be good at. A man values himself by those things.

“Am I worth it?”

Most women want to know one thing in a relationship, that is that they are loved above all else. She wants to know that the man in her life loves her, appreciates her, and cares for her.

I think many affairs could be avoided by answering these two questions the right way. If a man can’t do something well enough at home he may try somewhere else. Same with a woman, if she does not feel loved at home she may accept love from someone who lets her know how important she is. Of course, sometimes this never leads to adultery, sometimes it just leads to unhappy relationships. Remember men, putting anything in this world above your wife is telling her that she is not worth it.

“Two answers from the word of God”

So we have two questions. If every man and woman does in fact ask these questions, then surly they are important enough to have answers in the word of God. Ephesians 5:22-33 speaks about the husband and wife. The first command to the husband and the first to the wife answer the two root questions. Men love your wives; women submit to your husbands.

Love today is not like the love in the Bible. What most people call love today is actually passion, or infatuation. Love in the KJV Bible is often translated charity. Back then love was not passion but action. Love requires doing something. It says that men should love their wives as Christ loves the church. If you look at the things that Christ does for the church it makes our so called “love” look childish. So what actions are included in love? To be honest I don’t know everything that God intended us to do, but I do know this: More than one time in the Bible God says he loves us therefore he GAVE. So one thing I can say is that we as husbands should give, our time, our effort, our affection, and whatever else it takes to show our wives that they are more important to us than anything (except God). Do this and you will always be telling her she is worth it.

Submitting to a husband sounds like a dirty phrase in today’s world. A world where a woman is running for president. But, it is not as bad as you think. The Bible says the wife is like the church in her relationship with her husband, who is a representation of Christ. The church is not forced to submit to Christ, but chooses to submit themselves because of his love for them. Christ provides everything for the church therefore the church has no reason not to submit. If you submit to your husbands you are not obeying him, but following him. Submitting to your husband is just showing him that you trust his guidance. Showing him that, you are telling him that you think he can do anything, therefore, you are not worried when you follow him. Wives please show your husbands that they are your personal “superman” and that you would follow them anywhere.

“Final Thoughts”

The Bible does not give us the option based on what our spouse does. If your wife does not support you, you still love her. If your husband does not love you, you still have to follow him. Based on the word of God, I feel very comfortable in telling you that if you do your part, your husband or wife will 99% of the time start to do their part.